Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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