I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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