Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
