Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
