I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
