I wanna bring you to show and tell
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
