don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
is wine microwaveable?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
