I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize