So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
