We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
