Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
