I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
