i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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