She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
