i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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