he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
