Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
