Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
