Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
