everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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