12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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