There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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