i can't believe i had my finger in that
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
