One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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