This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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