You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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