But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
