Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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