: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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