i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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