He is such a slut. More and more my type.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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