I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
