There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
