Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
