doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think I have vodka in my lungs
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize