you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
