I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
