Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
