i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
