Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
