If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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