Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
