yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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