Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
