oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize