maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
