rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I look better un-naked...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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