carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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