He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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