I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point đź’ś
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My feet surprised me
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
