omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
