we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
