i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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