I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
