he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
