Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
