Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
