I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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