I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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