check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
