why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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