I haven't been this sober since birth.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
