I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
