I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
