It's like a parade of train wrecks.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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