WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
