the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
